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IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO
An attractive blonde from Cork arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice, at the casino.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude".
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them
asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
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Subject: laughter
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies
with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared
in church bulletins:
1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
2. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.'
3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you.
5. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
6. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
8. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
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9. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
11. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
12. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones
13. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
14. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
15. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
16. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
17. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
18. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
19. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
20. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
21. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door.
22. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the s ide entrance.
24. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan
last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
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