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Martin, I`ve put this here just to brighten someone`s day maybe. When I worked near Blackburn, after Leylands as a Draffy, we had an office comedian. Made his own pipes and smoked rough tobacco, came to work in the D.O. in gumboots and jersey`s, a non conformist type. He lived at New Longton and went to a farm sale near Salmesbury and bought a goat on impulse. He then learned that, having bought it, he had to take it home. He had a half decent car, so put the goat in through the back door. Goats have horns, and this was true to type, except that he couldn`t get the door shut with the goat inside, so he put its head through the nearside rear window, looking out. He said that the reactions of shoppers down Church Street and Fishergate was something to see, but he got it home. Later he bought six hens at another sale, these were in a transit cage which he thought was part of the sale, it wasn`t. He got in the car and got the farmer to put them one by one in the back, and set off home. All went well until one bird insisted on perching on his steering wheel, imagine the state of his car when he got back home. I have many more tales from the Office to make you laugh, but later. From over the Pennines, Cheerio, Bill.
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quote:
Originally posted by William R
All went well until one bird insisted on perching on his steering wheel, imagine the state of his car when he got back home. Bill.
Having seen the state our bedroom was in after one solitary blue tit flew in through the window, I can well imagine the mess six hens would make in a car![:0]Thanks for the smile, Bill!
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Welcome back Bill, keep the stories coming.
Martin ~
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My wife and I went to the island of Curacao recently. There were 4 of us and Roger and I went scuba diving every day, which is my lifes passion. One day we went on a dive boat and my wife Eve decided she would like to come even though she's in a wheelchair and can't swim. Roger end I had a nice easy, 50 minute dive. Eve was very hot on the boat and said she wanted to cool off, she donned her swim belt, shuffled to the dive platform [I was still in the water] and jumped in. Evidently she expected to bob around like a cork, but of course vanished. The water was about 40ft deep and she seemed to be gone a long time, but could only have been a second or two, she then shot out of the water at an incredible speed with eyes like saucers squawking "I've got bloody water in my ears". Just what else she expected I don't know, she was in no danger and the sight of this was really funny, I had big problems stopping laughing 'til I got a clip round the ear.
John
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Hi, Another to make you laugh. Going back a long time, when the milkman used to deliver milk with a horse and cart, and ladle it into jugs for you. Lived at Bent Bridge and grew roses, father did, and always said that the stronger the horse manure, the sweeter the smell of the roses. Milkman`s horse used to stop in front of our house and leave the days supply of horse manure on the road, which step-mum collected as soon as cart moved on, and put it on the roses. One day the horse over-ran the stop to next door. Step-mum at ready with shovel when neighbour from two houses down appeared with shovel and ran to collect supply. Confrontation!!!! two ladies who should have known better nearly fighting as to whose supply it was, which in temper was thrown into adjacent field, so nobody got it.. Sorry, I should have called it fertiliser, but its taken me ages to get used to calling it manure instead of what neighbour called it. Incidentally, in those years we had hot summers, and the garden really ponged when the sun beat down, no wonder the roses smelled sweet, it was competition. From over the Pennines, Regards, Bill.
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Bill:
Your story reminded me of my Grandfather, Ted Newsham. He and Gran also lived on Bent Lane, had a Plumber and Decorator business at number 168, just before the rise to the Turpin Green raiway bridge.
It might have been the same milkman's horse who made a solid deposit in the street. As Grandad came out with the shovel, a Leyland Motors test chassis went by and ran over the pile. His comment was "damn, he's squozzen all t'juice aht".
Frank Damp
Anacortes, WA
Frank Damp (wife Eileen, nee Nixon)
Leyland resident 1941-1965, emigrated to the US in 1968,
retired to Anacortes, Washington State, USA in 1999.
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Back to my old pal Bill R. (of the goat and hens). He used to enjoy his weekly night out from home in Ribbleton, and always bought some chips to eat on his way home. He also bought his wife (poor lass) some chips, which were cold when he woke her up in bed with "I`ve got you some chips". He did this every week and got the same unprintable reply, thats just for a laugh! Anyway, Bill wanted, one fine day, to adjust his T.V.aerial on his chimney. So he got a ladder and went up onto his roof to adjust it, to avoid slipping on the roof he wore a pair of gym shoes as he hadn`t a roof ladder. Whilst he was on the roof it began to rain, and oh dear he couldn`t get down. It rained hard, neighbours asked his wife what was he doing sat on the roof in the rain, was it for a bet? No, he was stranded, no-one had a roof ladder. Last resort was the Fire Brigade who were used to getting cats out of trees, so they soon got him down to earth, and much more when he found out how much he had to pay for being rescued. I`ve more escapades to give about Bill R. but for now, its --From over the Pennines, Cheerio, Bill.
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How about this tale of my Grandad: in the days of the old metal dustbins he got sick of the bin being blown over and the contents distributed up the garden during a spell of high winds. So he decided to solve the problem by pouring a thick layer of concrete into the bottom of the bin. Well, it didn't get blown over, but it did earn him a stiff telling off from the bin men who nearly got a hernia, trying to lift the darn thing! He had to buy a new bin!
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Just done a posting about losing my car and its disappeared into the ether when I pressed SEND. So here I go again. Got a new M.G.1300 and went to an Air Display at Abingdon. Parked up and noted where it was parked. Display over I couldn`t find my car. Went to RAF Police who told me that they had moved my reference points (a row of buses) while the display was on and if I went with them they`d show me where it was. They did, it cost me a Fiver for the Benevolent Fund, but I got my first 500 miles running in done, which was why I went in the first place. Moral, always tie a balloon to your aerial when you park with hundreds of others, its easier to find when its all over. Just another funny memory now, not at the time. From over the Pennines, Cheerio, Bill.
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